You've Made Mistakes, so What, Love Yourself Anyway!~

In the quest of understanding men and true love, I read so many how to articles. The Do's and the Don't. Out of all the wonderful material i have read, there is one thing missing from each story, article and book, and that one thing is, self-love. No one ever tells us women how to love ourselves and how to value our worth. No we're always sent the message of, change , improve, do better next time, he's just not that into you, he doesn't want you, he will marry her, blah, blah, blah, etc! Where is the, no matter what , love yourself messages? Well I am here today to tell you what no one ever will, why? because misery sales. I make no money off of this blog, I do this out of the kindness of my heart and true desire to help. I will tell you like noone else will today and always, love yourself and know that you are a blessing beyond measure, because if you don't , he won't. Let this be our new mantra. Improving yourself is a never ending process, so why spend countless hours trying to do something that sends the message of "defect" to self. We are not defected, we are not damaged, and we are not messed up. We are great women who may have never been told this very here message. Imagine how much heartbreak you could have saved yourself from and or your friend from, if we told each other every now and again, you're too good for that. Women are accustomed to being insecure when it comes to relationships. I was talking about a guy i recently sort of dated with some girlfriends who were also having guy problems and my conclusion about my situation seemed to elicit a reaction in one of the ladies. She kept replying with, "well people can change" , maybe he'll change", as if she was implying that I shouldn't give up. Now, after listening to me express my unhappiness and feelings of not getting what I deserve, her reaction should have been, good for you girl! You deserve the best! I see that, women don't know how to do this. Most of our break downs, counseling sessions, depression , sorrow, self loathing and insecurities in relationshiops stems from a man that influenced us in our lives at some point in time. What we need is to be told, you are beautiful! Imagine how quick your true self could be put in perspective, if for once someone just told you the greatest truth about yourself. So ladies, I'm here to do just that. It's looked at as normal for men to be confident in the game of love , but for women to be insecure, doubtful and dependent. Well I say, ta hell with that. Believe in yourself. It seems like men are too complex to ever have success with. This is what I say, follow the rules, yes! If you didn't read my previous blog entries, let me remind you to get a copy of book, "The Rules", by Ellen Fein. Follow the rules, learn the game, understand men, and always work on being a better you, however, if you don't know the rules and you have made mistakes in the past and you're making those same mistakes now, it's okay, you're still you, a dime piece, so love yourself anyway! No matter how you have failed in love, and no mattter how many heartbreaks you have encountered and no matter the mistakes, you are still you, so love yourself anyway. Your success is not determined by who loves you nor how many men can catch and keep you. Your sucess is determined by self. Let your self be your guide. I am sick and tired of these relationship messages conveying, defect and self fixing. Regardless of what you have done in the past and or present that isn't working for you, know that you are a wonderful being , who deserves self love. (Personal Secrets): Men who aren't good for you secrectly want you to feel insecure about yourself, so that they can get over on you, and get what they want, while wasting your time. Imagine this, a real man wants you to love yourself. Stay high, so that he can find you. Do not let people convey negative messages to you such as, why aren't you married? why are you single? Where's your man. Remember, you are not determined by if a man loves you or not. You are defined by your own mesaures. New Mantra: love yourself and know that you are a blessing beyond measure, because if you don't , he won't

How To Get A Man To Connect (by Christian Carter)

Written by, Christian Carter. How To Show Him You're A Great Catch So you've finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you're a real find, right? Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn't involve any effort at all. In fact, putting effort into trying to get or keep a man will end up pushing him away. If you've ever had a man seem very interested in you at first only to suddenly become distant and pull away, this could be the reason why. Showing a man you're someone he wants to get closer to requires the opposite: It's all about simply being, not doing... It's Not What You Do, It's What You Are When we meet a great guy, we women often try to do, do, do whatever we can to make him see what a great catch we are. We'll go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what we want. You can't convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man's company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine, doer role. To do that, you must first be open to receive. A Great Catch Lets A Man Give To Her Inspiring a man to see you as the one woman he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love. Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. When you're open to receiving from a man, you're sending a message that you value yourself - you believe you're worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you. A Great Catch Sets Boundaries He Needs To Respect Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you're completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he'll question your value. This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren't prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven't met him yet! When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you're a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your "degree of difficulty" so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself... or risk another guy beating him to it. A Great Catch Puts Herself First The most important thing to remember when you're dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first. If you love taking a dance class every Thursday night, don't give it up just because he's in the picture and you don't want him to think you're not interested. Letting him know you have a life outside of him actually makes him more attracted to you - not just because you're not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people! So, tell him, "It would feel so great to see you Thursday, but I have my dance class that night, and I love it. I'm free Tuesday or Friday." Then ask him what he thinks. It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you've just proven you're a great catch he has to woo and win. When you try to convince a man that you're a great catch, you end up giving off a "needy" vibe that actually dampens his attraction for you. Having to "prove" yourself makes him think that you don't have a solid sense of self. But when you focus on yourself rather than on HIM, it automatically conveys that you think you're a great catch. Your strong self-esteem is intriguing to him. He'll see it and want to win you over. Learn How To Naturally Draw Him In, Step By Step We women have been taught that we need to work to show a man we're worthy of his love. And we've been taught wrong. You already have everything you need to draw a man in NATURALLY and make him fall hopelessly in love

Be Yourself (Be Nice & He No Like)

Hello ladies! I'm a strong advocate of being myself. I love me and wouldn't change a thing. Of course, I would like to be more of the queen goddess in this love game, but character wise, I love me for who I am. Be who you are who ever that is. If you're funny, quirky, fun loving, mean, bitchy, talkative, etc, if that's who you are, be it. Many women try to be something they're not and or try to prove themselves to men, only to find out that, they choose the women who wasn't trying so hard. I have seen women who were damn there naked, selling a dream and guys saw my natural beauty and looked over them , trying to get to me. My point here is, be yourself and don't give in to any man. Don't perform, switch up nor pretend to be something you're not. He will only end up with a woman who bees herself. Remember, men are Borderline personality when it comes to women. What they may dislike in you, they will like in another, so listen to nothing they say. Men have a habit of demeaning a woman's worth sometimes. I'm over being nice and passive. Men don't appreciate that, so be yourself , whoever that may be. That's what men fall for.

Shhhh, Keep Quiet!

Women are talkers, while men are action driven. I always say,a man talking too much ain't really talking about nothing. A woman who says nothing, but shows all through her actions, now that's danger! Today's blog entry is about women catching up to their true emotions, faster and learning how to be five steps ahead. As I have said before, love is a chess game. You want to know how to play, say nothing! Stop talking; stop defending; stop arguing; stop pleading; stop explaining. In fact, just keep quiet. Every time I have opened up and expressed myself to a man,it got me nowhere. It's a set up. Don't fall for it. Sometimes a man willing to listen can be such a turn on, but in actuality, if you don't really know this man and you are not emotionally connected to that man, you're opening up like a loose cannon. Men have mastered non verbal communication. They communicate messages to women all the time, without saying a word. It works, so why not use their tactic. Everytime I talk about my feelings, I get talked out of them, and it causes confusion. When you talk about your feelings, you are giving a man a guide to talk you out of how you are feeling. If you learn when not to speak, you will gain these following things. 1) knowing how you truly feel about a man. 2) Zero tolerance. 3) having peace of mind. 4)Wasting no time and 5) Gaining more respect. Men are use to women talking about themselves and their feelings. When a woman is silent, it's game on. Men are use to knowing how to gauge women, by listening to them talk, but if you keep quiet, he will be forced to learn you and bend to you. He will have to work harder to understand. The less you say, the more power you have. Now when i say, don't talk so much, i don't mean say absolutely nothing. Of course not, be yourself. Just keep quiet when it comes to your emotions. Let him sweat trying to figure it out. Talking is intimate, so don't waste your words. Think about every time you wined, cried, yelled, got really emotional, pleaded, etc. Did it get you anywhere? Now think about all the guys you're reserved, quiet and less expressive around. Do you see the difference? Stop talking ladies ,and learn to communicate non verbally, because just as women fall for a man's words, because women are more verbal, well men analyze your behavior because they express themselves the same way. Learn to communicate your desires, feelings, and needs, by using their language,ACTION! Forget your words, they will get you nowhere. Never believe that a man will do for you because you talked so much about it to him. It's the total opposite. Men fall for you, when they can't read you through your words. So until next time ladies, shhhhhhh, keep quiet!

Passive vs Aggressor

Women are known for being the receivers, aka, (passive), while a man is known for being the aggressor. Due to a new shift of men acting like B**@@!,and being more passive these days, women have become more aggressive than ever before. Well , as a woman, you should be able to kick back and relax your feet and not work so hard for a man. In fact, use these modern day male tactics. Today, men with feminine characteristics know how to play the female game. They don't speak first. They don't chase and they now play hard to get. If that behavior makes a woman more aggressive and makes her chase a man more, then use his tactics, and take back your womanhood. Two feminine energies cancel out each other, just as well as two masculine energies cancel out each other. If one person has feminine and or masculine energy, the opposite sex will lean more towards the opposite energy. Therefore, be feminine and let a man give to you. It's not psychological and no one is conscious of this operation, because it's, biological. If you find yourself attracted to a man that is not so manly, check your energy. It's not that you're not so feminine and lovely, you may just need to tone down your aggressive energy, which confuses the natural biological process. Be the peace maker. Just be and exist. Don't be a doer. Don't help a man. In other words, tap more into your softer, female goddess, and ask for guidance. Remember, if he's being passive, and that makes you aggressive, then switch up and become more passive, to attract more masculine energy, aka the aggressor. :) Until next time.

4 Things To Remember

This is so good, I had to re-post as a reminder. 1) In the words of Ray Jay, "all men have something bad in them, therefore you have to find a good man, who can control those bad charactersitics". Exactly, all men have an angel and devil on each shoulder. Although there are some good men out there, you still have to find the one who can maintain his bad urges. Men aren't designed to be as sensitive, caring, and concerned as women are. That's why you will meet a nice, church guy and then be surprised that he did you this way or that way, or may have reacted this way. Well, no matter how good or how bad the man is. Because men aren't equipped to be as caring, concerned and sensitive to the feelings of others as women seem to be, you must find a man who can control his bad urges and apologize when he can't and never make the same mistakes. 2) The way you start out with him is the way you set the tone from here on out. If he starts out doing this or that, and it works, he will keep doing it. No man stops what he feels is working and changes routines. If you want to train him, train him in the beginning, cause guess what? the beginning stages is what sets the tone for future treatment. If he starts off texting, never calling or just being all about all words and no actions, don't entertain the buster, why? because you're only setting a tone, for the future that will be at your expense. 3) Check his software and never his microsoft words! A man with all talk and no play, has no software in his hard drive. If he's about something, then let it happen and automatically appear on the monitor. Never in history has a monitor worked without being plugged up to the hard drive of the computer. So how the hell should words make up for action now? Never. If he's talking too much, he really ain't talking about nothing. 4) Never let a man run your shoes over and don't run his over either. Men are accustomed to meeting women and judging them quickly and assessing what they feel their behavior is. They will categorize you, have pre concieved notions of how they believe the female gender is and what not. Don't allow him to define you, categorize you or label you. No definition of you started when he met you. You were already defined by GOD's measures before you even knew who he was! Your morals, boundaries and rules don't get altered because Mr. Big shot is this way, or he's that way. No , you never change your rythmm to be with a man. You are who you are and you were who you were before he even came into the picture and that will always be. You worry about yourself, your needs and wants and never lower your standards. You run your own shoes over and let him run his own shoes over. Period!

Don't Tell Your Girlfriends

You meet a guy and he's cute, nice, charming, lovely, smart , maybe even successful, and just so likable in everyway. But wait, hold on, buckle up, you don't know who he is. You don't even know if he's the one, nor if you even like him yet. This situation happened to me. You meet a guy and surely, you think, he's a candidate, and hell i'm tired of waiting so,you try to seat fill him into your love fantasy. We end up telling our friends, "I met someone" and our friends who hope for us to find love, are so excited for us, sometimes, way too excited. You may see no problem with telling your friends or family about a certain someone. However, what may seem innocent, really isn't. Unless you're a woman like me and you're as skeptical as me, when your friend tells you she met someone. Be careful who you tell. When you tell a friend you met someone, women don't think, "oh she met a guy, but who knows who this guy is yet, let's discover him, first". what a woman hears when you tell her you met someone is, "Om my, I've met the one". No matter how many times you say this, your girlfriends hears the same thing, "that you possibly found the one",lol. They never lose hope. Everytime you meet a guy and tell your friends, they become more eager and are at the edge of their seats everytime. They don't think to themselves, how many times you've said that, they just become more antsy, hoping its the one for you too.This is why it's best to keep their suspense down. Also, you don't know yet if it's going to work out or not. When it doesn't work out, you feel stupid, round 2 , here i come. Plus, you don't want to appear like you just hop from guy to guy, because you're always telling someone about some guy you met. Remember, meeting someone can simply mean that, you met someone. It doesn't mean you actually met someone, who you will marry. However, you're friends may not be keen enough, due to excitment, to decipher. They actually hear the words, "I've met my lover". Keep them out of it. Half of them are nosy anyway! I mean, why does it seem like our girlfriends are more interested in our love affairs than we are. I mean, can I like homeboy before you like him more. Can he get in good with me first? Another thing to consider is this, your girls might put things in your head to further confuse you. For example, they might feed you fantsies that do nothing more than make you despearate, eager, and a believer of the love fantasy and even a chaser in some aspects. They may recommend you call him, pursue him, or buy him gifts for his birthday. In the beginning, and or in the end, they may tell you what you want to hear or make the blow worst if things don't work out. I recently made the biggest mistake opening up to my girlfriends about Mr. Goody two shoes, who is the guy that I recently sort of dated. That was a big mistake, especially because one of my friends presented a very disappointed attitude that even hurt my feelings, once I told her things ended. She even told me that she was secretly praying that we would love each other and get married! That shit is so not cute and on top of that, it's intrusive. Here my friend is, praying for me to end up with a guy who wasn't even a good guy for me to begin with. He was cunning, decietful and phony and recently going through a divorce, yuck! That's why you have to keep your girlfriends out of it. I already felt bad ,and here she is making me feel worst, unintentionally, because she was hoping for the best between me and a guy I shouldn't have been entertaining in the first place. This is why you have to be careful about opening up to your friends. Women will sometimes take ownership of your love life and act as if they're more affected by your decisions than you are. Remember, you're the only one that has to live with your decisions, not them. My friend was actually hoping for a spontaneous Vegas wedding. How weird!! If i didn't know this guys true intentions and ulterior motives until it was too late, then how could she? How weird of her. That was pretty creepy. And this, my friend, is why you shouldn't tell your girlfriends. One day I called my friend and the first thing she said to me is, "hi how are you, and how's _____? I was like, are you serious, this guy is not my husband/baby daddy, lol. Why are you asking me about him? Now, I know my friend means well, she's a great girl, so don't let my negative ranting take you off topic here. Our friends mean well, and their intentions wouldn't be so out of rhythm, if these guys were the one. In fact, their intentions would be right on the money. When we finally meet the right guy, this quirky behavior that our friends and sometimes family members display will be okay,  but until then, avoid these consequences, hush, hush! I was more offended to know that my friend found the need to pray for my love life and then pray for me to be with a particular guy, without first knowing what this man's true nature was, what was best for me, or what i deserved nor consulting me and my true hearts desires first. Once I looked within and became one with my true desires and was true to myself, I realized he wasn't what I really wanted in the first place. I guess my feelings were repressed and hidden behind the same desperation I projected onto my friends. Due to this former guy's level of success, and respect level, he was judged against past duche bags, that I entertained. Therefore, everyone was rooting for this dude, although he turned out to not be the right guy for me. In fact, he's not even capable of loving me the way I deserve to be loved. This guy turned out to not be the most honest creed. No hard feelings, but I don't even think this guy was designed for me. I wish i had kept to myself that i had "met someone", lol, but my anxiety got the best of me. Guess I should listen to my gut feeling next time. I found some advice to be useful from a young lawyer stating, why tell your girls about a guy anyway? why so soon? That is so true. Why do we tell our girls about guys we just met, so soon? That is so not kosher. Men never tell. In fact, the way to tell if a man is serious about you is by knowing who he's telling about you. Men only speak about you to their friends and family, only if they are in love or rather serious about you, point, blank, period! Why don't we take on those same attitudes and become rather secretive about our temporary lovers , until our permanent Mr. Right comes along! Hold out , until Mr. Right comes along. I like the sound to that ring. I know it will be rather hard because for me, I sometimes don't feel like it's real for me until I speak on it, with another girlfriend. Now I'm seeing things differently. Perhaps maybe it's a sign that it's not real when i speak on it. Perhaps, I should retire from talking so much. The moral of the story is, don't tell your friends about so and so, until you know for sure that it's real and it's  right.

Attached to the wrong man

I was watching sex in the city today and Carry made some good points in tonight's episodes. Why do we seem to be tied to a man who doesn't want to be tied down? Why are we drawn to a man that constantly gives us the avoidance/approach relationship? Why are we emotionally attached to a man that's emotionally unavailable? Why are we attracted to man who makes us feel bad? Why do we make a man a priority, when he makes us an option or can't seem to put us first?? Why do we care to put a man first, and put our all in relationships, with a guy who doesn't even care if we are in his life? Oh this was a good episode, lol. In the words of sex in the city, Samantha, when women say we, a woman means,the man and woman, but when men say we, they mean, themselves and their dic*. Are we even choosing guys that care if we're in their life? If so, we need to reconsider who we choose and choose better. In the words of, sex in the city, Carry Bradshaw, are we addicted to wanting someone who is unobtainable?and if so, why? As Carry would say, are we masochist? Do we actually feel we deserve love, deep down inside, or are we trying to meet some bio chemical need of lack of pleasure when it comes to love, because it's our pattern? Well, as Ellen Fein would say, this is not the rules. We have to change what gratification means to us. In other words, man who wants us, is gratifying to us. Man who is emotionally unavailable is not gratifying to us. Man who isn't capable of loving us is not gratifying to us. Man who is on some b.s. is not gratifying to us. Man who says one thing and does another is not gratifying to us. Man who has a lot of baggage and stuff going on, which prevents him from being emotionally available to us, is not gratifying to us. Man who does not treat you good and does not make you feel cherished is not for you! He no longer gratifies you. Man who plays games and man who abuses you and or makes your feel low or less than is not for you. He no longer turns you on. Fuck that guy! Let's be cave woman about our needs. Me woman, you man, you treat me good and make me feel yummy on inside, lol. He who cherishes you, adores you, pursues you, courts you, treats you good, and is committal is, what gratifies you from this point forward.

The Female Eagle (How she chooses her man)

Okay ladies, this is about the female eagle, large bird. Understand the metaphor behind the movement of this story. This is how U should choose your man.

"HOW THE FEMALE EAGLE CHOOSES HER MATE
(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.

If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if
the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the stick, she continues to pick up a even larger stick. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick. With this log, she flies at her highest, then she drops it.

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this "testing" until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all of the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life."

Don't Lose Yourself

Be whole with yourself. Do not operate your life like a half, that needs to be filled with the other half. You are not voided, empty nor without. GOD made you whole. When you meet a man , it should be two wholes coming together as one, not to halves, trying to fill the other half. Continue with your routine and continue with your life. When you meet a man, and if you find that, living your life interferes with his pursuit of you, then you already know that's a red flag telling you that, he was coming to fill a void, instead of embrace you and his own self as a whole. Remember to be one with God and one with yourself. Never, ever let a man come in between your relationship with GOD, nor your relationship with self. Choose a man who is emotionally available. Choose a man who already feels and knows he's a whole. Why? because he's healthier and he is coming to share, build, restore, provide and possibly provide love. He's not looking to fill and or fill someone else's void. He's not looking for a handout. like him but understand that, he is an accessory,not the ingredient. He is the icing on the cake, not the actual ingredients that made the cake. You are honey! When you fill yourself up and understand that you are already whole, no man can make you feel needy, nor dependent of him. If he walks out of your life, your no longer devastated, feeling like something is missing. You will never lose yourself again. Losing yourself means, you lost touch with yourself and got lost in love along the way. Big Danger Zone. Stay alert. Live and love, but don't get consumed by it.The only spirit you should be lost in is, God's. Don't lose yourself and be whole. Signing out.

Concentrate on your worth

When you concentrate on your worth and talents, you won't entertain non sense. You won't even tolerate it. Why spend so much time wondering why such and such did this or did that. Let's just concentrate on our worth, instead. A good artist knows he's good and doesn't sale himself short. He does not entertain critics, nor naysayers. Why do we entertain men who are not cherishing us as we deserve to be cherished? All you have to do is, concentrate on your worth and never look on the sidelines for anything that contradicts that. Don't mind who doesn't mind you. Never love who doesn't love you. Care about noone, who does not care about you.

Guys Like Good Girls or Bad Girls ?

Do guys like the good, the bad or the evil? I think men sometimes go for the bad girls because she's a challenge. She's entertaining. Men like challenges, but being a bad girl isn't Godly, nor kosher. What's a girl to do? I say, give him the best of both worlds. Be good, but be a challenge. Play hard to get and surely, you'll be giving him the best of both worlds. You see, men are use to women desiring love and being needy and desperate. When they meet a woman they had to chase and pursue, it makes them feel like she's a prize to be captured. He then knows that, if he wins her over, she wanted him for who he is, and not just using him as a seat filler, for her love fantasies. Men can be borderline when it comes to love, as you all know, lol. They say one thing and do another. They request one thing and downplay a woman when she does it. Let's face it, men are confused. Men are stuck on what they want, not what they need. What they need is, a good woman, who is a stand by her man kind of girl, who will respect him, and cherish him, admire him, love and support him. However, he wants her to be that woman that he had to earn such strong emotions from first, otherwise, he won't appreciate her. He wants a woman who treats him like a random guy in the beginning, who's respect and love he had to earn. Once this occurs, he then feels he has won and conquered. In other words, they want the woman who plays hard to get. It is psychological to want what you can't have, because not getting what you want puts your self worth under question. When you earn what you had to work hard for, aka, what you can't have, you feel better about yourself, as if what you've earned makes you more worthy. Men don't want the bad girl. In actuality, they just think they do, because they haven't worked out the details in their unconscious mind yet, lol. In the end, the bad girl, breaks their heart and discards them. They don't want that. That's why they usually turn to good women for love and affection. What men need is, a good woman who plays hard to get. Don't be a bad girl, just be the best of both worlds= A good woman with a challenge :)

Why love is a Chess Game?

Check Mate! Love is a chess game, and never believe otherwise. You are the woman, which makes you the gazelle (the receiver), and the man a lion (The hunter). You must remain two steps ahead, in order to win. You must anticipate his move in the game of love chess at all times, and until you win, understand that, you can be checkmated at any time. Let me explain: In chess, the KING (♔, ♚) is the most important piece. The object of the game is to trap the opponent's king so that its escape is not possible (checkmate). If a player's king is threatened with capture, it is said to be in check, and the player must remove the threat of capture on the next move. If this cannot be done, the king is said to be in checkmate The QUEEN (♕,♛) is the most powerful piece in the game of chess, able to move any number of squares vertically, horizontally, or diagonally. Each player starts the game with one queen, placed in the middle of the first rank next to the king Your object should be to, capture the king's mind, and emotional attachment, so that his escape is not possible, aka, CHECKMATE! If you can anticipate his move, it's checkmate. If he is two steps ahead of you, then this cannot be done. Never allow this. Remember, the Queen is the most powerful piece on the board, and she can move any number of squares. She can move vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. Although the man is the leader and tone setter in relationships, the woman is still the most important component. A woman has the most power. You have the power to maneuver his motivation at anytime. Don't be a PAWN in this chess game. The pawn (♙♟) is the most numerous and (in most circumstances) weakest piece in the game of chess, historically representing infantry, or more particularly armed peasants You don't believe me? Either checkmate or be checkmated. "All is fair in love and war"

Listen to What He Complains About

Listen~~ to the sounds deep within~~~ whooa whoa Men like a challenge, read "The Rules", by Ellen Fein. They usually like the woman that gives them a run for their money, even if she's tired. Why not give him his hearts desires. Read the book, "Men Love Abuse" , by Tiona Smalls. Notice how men always have a story about that one woman they loved or fell for, who treated them bad, neglected them and or payed them no mind. Yet, this is the woman he choose. Notice how the things that he complains about with you, are the very same things that keep him coming back for more.Don't listen to his words, look at his actions. Men are always most attracted to what they complain and have their drawers in a knot over. Play the Game. and be the challenge he wishes to see. Be good, but don't be so good that you're easy and you become the girl he's not talking about.

Are You A Rules Girl?

Author of the book, "The Rules", written by, Ellen Fein, discusses the way a woman should conduct herself, in order to win in the game of love. If you want a serious relationship and or marriage, then the rules you must follow. I'll give you a couple 1) Don't meet him halfway. He picks you up no matter how far he lives, or no date at all. 2)Don't ever go dutch on a date. 3) Don't call him and rarely return his calls. 4)Don't expect a man to change and never try and change himNever give in so easily 6)Don't give him special treatment so soon 7)Be easy, be breezy, be aloof 8)Be short and keep it simple 9)Never date nor entertain a bitch, why? because you'll never be able to do the rules with him! 10) Say as little as possible. Let him earn info, little by little. Get the book and find out the rest!

Chase a Man? Chase God!

Written by a very in tuned lady.

"SHOULD A WOMAN CHASE A MAN?
"A woman is not to chase a man. Women please stop chasing men. Let him chase you. Give him time to fight for what he wants. After he gets you, he'll know that you're worth more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10) Both man and woman are suppose to chase after God. While the man is seeking God, God will direct the footsteps of both the man and woman so that they cross paths. God will lead the man to pursue the RIGHT woman. Too many times the good fellas end up chasing the wrong women because they lack discernment. As you begin to seek the face of God., your discernment will increase because for the spiritual height you will be on. Chase and Purse the word of GOD and then everything you want will be right around the corner, so i here my spirit tells me so.

So men lay in the arms of your Father just like Adam did when he went into a deep sleep as God handcrafted his beautiful woman for him. Or rest and relax like Issacc did when his father sent his servant on a journey to bring him a wife from his own country. The bible says, that before he and Rebecca were near each other, he was in the field meditating. Another thing godly men is watch your character and reputation. Remember Boaz saw Ruth working hard in the field. He watched her closely as she worked noticing some of her good qualities. A godly man is a wise investor. Any investor will tell you to not make any hasty decision regarding investing in a market or selling your shares. You have to watch the market and know the market in whatever you want to invest in so that you can yield high returns.


Many people tell half the truth when interpreting the scripture that says, "He that finds a wife finds a good thing". It is true that the word "finds" means that the man is to pursue a woman. But that scripture is also two-fold. What that scripture means is that after God completes processing the woman's character, she then becomes established in her spirit and character and is now qualified to be a wife. So now she is a good thing. (Church)!

A foolish woman is not a good thing to a man. The bible says everything God created was good. God didn't create evil character in women and men. So every woman must go through a fiery trial so that God may burn up the chaff; to produce the good that is in her. To bring out the best in her, so that when she walks into her season, she will be a good thing. And when she is a good thing, she will then become qualified by God to be called a wife. So whoever comes into the presence of this woman will come into the presence of a good woman who has allowed God to process her into being a godly wife.

The bible says "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these other things will be added unto you." (Matthew) As a matter of fact, the more we pursue things and people, the further God allows them to stay away from our lives, because we're seeking something more than we seek God. God wants us to pray and rest in His arms as we pray for our helpmates.

Remember Adam was asleep when God brought Eve to him. Adam knew he was missing something, but didn't know it was already in him. So when God presented Eve, she was good. That's what the scripture "A man that finds a wife, finds a good thing." And "NO" this doesn't mean a woman is suppose to chase a man. Isacc wasn't looking for wife. God presented Rebekah to him. Boaz wasn't looking for Ruth. God presented her to him. In each situation, it was God that brought each couple together through different circumstances, no matter how unusual they may seem.

No matter who your husband or wife is, or where they are from, God will strategically place you in the path of your soul mate. You don't have to go to the club or even go to church looking for anyone. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and He will meet everyone of your need, and give you the desire of your heart according to His will and word. Ladies be prayerful and ask God to make you a good thing. Again, I say don't chase a man, because if you're really good he'll chase you down. Remember the saying, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone. Stay out of his face. And seek His face. Stop calling him. And
call Him. Become that good thing, and your man won't be able to resist you because of the anointing radiating on your face from the inside out.

What this message renders is, a woman should not be chasing after a man, but should be chasing after GOD, allowing him to prepare her to be a good thing, a precious gift to a man. A man should be chasing after GOD 1st, so that he can be molded into being a good man for a woman, and so that GOD can present to him the woman he designed for that man and instill inside of him the ambition to actually pursue the woman of his desires. (You see why it's so important to be evenly yoked)

GOD MUST NOT ONLY DEVELOP YOU AS A WOMAN FOR THE MAN FIRST BUT A MAN MUST ALSO BE DEVELOPED FOR THE WOMAN! put all your desires in GOD. call GOD, text God, PAGE GOD, facebook GOD, myspace GOD, add GOD as your friend, vent your frustrations to GOD. Leave GOD a message 1ST and watch how he will move in your life, granting you all the desires of your heart but only .1st after you have throughly sought him.

PEACE AND church.

Make Friends

I am finding myself to be a strong advocate of this friend thing. In today's world, we rush everything! Even our relationships, as discussed in the last blog entry. Well, I have just the answer. How about dating the friendship first, you'll save so much time in the mean time. Now, if you don't mind wasting your precious little time, then bigolly, continue to speed date and you will surely run through lots of guys and waste lots of time ;). Here's the thing, when you meet a guy, you don't know who he is, nor if he matches the items on your ideal man list. Remember, he could be geeky, nerdy, corny, too nice, a yes man, a gay man, a use to be married man, a felon, a mentally ill patient, an abuser, STD, or HIV prone. He may even be a baby daddy. You don't know him, nor his idiosyncrasies, so don't act like you do. Unless you're psychic, there is no such thing as knowing somebody. First off, small steps should be taken, and as nature takes it's course, and God's will agrees, then you and the man can move through each stage, by first passing each step. And as stated previously ladies, always pray and always be one with your desires, and the characteristics of your ideal man. If you have not created a list of your ideal traits in a man, do so. Be one with your truth :) Here are the steps: Remember to take it slowwwwwwwwww or learn the hard way in the end. 1) Always be cordial. Be a friend first! Period, without a doubt 2) Leave room for a lot of space and allow that to lead into time on the phone 3) Do Lot's of talking on the phone before spending time together 4) After allowing space,& chatting a bunch, then you can spend time together 5) Once you spend lot's of quality time together,you can then start to date him 6) Once you have been dating for a while, you can then become exclusively dating 7) Once you have been exclusively dating, you can become girlfriend & Boyfriend 8) Once you have a relationship for a while, and you know for sure he is the one and he feels the same, marry him! and in that order!! ;) These steps are made to help and protect you. After going fast for so many years, i realize how precious my time is and you can't get it back once it's gone. Take your time, because time does fly. Men live in the moment,so they are equipped to going fast, but taking it slow is best for you, and any man who wants to rush has something to hide anyway. Notice how every guy that moves extra fast usually ends up being a bum, lol. Don't go fast, you have nothing to rush, oh but taking the time to get to know him can take years and the time spent doing so is worth the pain that you will dodge.

Should You Take What You Get ?!!?

Man likes you and you like him back. Man says he wants you and you let him have you. Man says, he wants to date you and you begin dating him. but is he what you really want? Is this the ideal guy that you had in mine? Women tend to sort of take what they can get. We date who wants to date us, and we are hooked by whoever hooks us. So should you take what you can get? The answer is , no! Never let a man set the tone for you. You should date the way you want and allow yourself to be had by who you choose. You do the choosing , never be chosen. The guy can think he choose you, but he didn't. Decide what you want, write down your ideal guy , place it in your bible, set the tone, go at your own pace, play hard to get and then choose the guy you want. Never just take what you can get.

When A Guy Says Let's Be Friends

When a guy says, let's be friends, I say, hell, give him what he asked for and put some stank on it, lol. Let's be friends could mean anything. It could mean he's gay, not interested, a player ,keeping his options open, dating someone else or unattracted to you. He may just want something from you.I don't have time for it. Just know you're a dime and no matter what his opinions, actions or his feelings towards you are, you are the dime piece. No matter what, you rock, eff what he thinks! Always like a guy less than he likes you. So if he dislikes you, hate him, lol "

"Never be further ahead emotionally/mentally in any relationship than the guy". A man should always like a woman more,so if you're busy worrying about him and obsessing over him, it gives him no time to do that for you. A man must like a woman more than she likes him, period! So when he says, "I see you as a cool friend" and or, "let's be friends", mirror him, and say the same,and trick yourself into believing the same. In fact, repeat his words back to him. Who cares why he said what he said, or what he meant by what he said, who cares! If friendship is what he wants, then bigoly, friendship is what he will get! 2 snaps. 'Men usually want to have their cake and eat it too. Men say things to get a reaction. Men say one thing and do another. Well, just remember this, make sure his words read his actions and his actions match his words. Watch a man's words, and then his actions, see if they comply. If they don't , treat him as a joke. Watch a man's actions and see if they match his words, if not, play like the dumb fox, who can only grasp information , when only, the talk matches the walk. Remember to clear your mind and write your ideal man down on a piece of paper and stick it in your bible or somewhere safe and remind yourself of those attributes. I'm sure, man who wants to be friends and sends mix signals isn't one on your list, ha ha. Remember that. So, he wants to be friends, touche, return the blow of friendliness and KO him! LOL

Why Rush ?

Why Rush , when time fly's? Congratulations, we now live in microwaveable society. We want everything fast, now, quick and in a hurry. Today's society is in a rush. We want relationships, education, success, and friendship, with the same amount of density that we want our fast food? Now! But you can't do that with relationships, friendships, success, education, etc. You have to work hard for the things that require gradual steps. Relationships are no different and work the same way. You must build rapport,in order to make the flower grow. You cannot rush knowing someone. AS for me, you can't rush information from me. I'm an acquired taste, that one must take the time to know and learn. Any man entering my realm is an understudy, simply a young grasshopper. It takes time. When you meet someone, things may seem cool, but you don't know that persons family history, quirks, likes , dislikes, pet peeves,sexuality, nor his idiosyncrasies, so don't act like you do. Hell, you don't even really know if you get along with the person yet. When you don't know a person, trust that, you don't know them. Rushing this process is dangerous to the birds eye. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous! Be careful, you never know who you're talking to. That person could have a police record, a bad temper, mental health record, abusive tendencies,etc. He could also be a nice, and normal guy, but you don't know that yet, now do you? Never let a guy interview you, answer what you want, but always interview him! Now due to the time, days, weeks, months and earth moving at a more rapid speed than ever before, time fly's, so there's no need to rush. When you rush things, and the speed of lightening is already moving at a rapid pace, you are doubling up your speed. When you don't have to, because the earth is already doing that for you. When I look at how long I have known people and how long I have known the new people I just met, i think to myself, boy time fly's, so why rush a relationship, or getting to know someone. You have the speed of earth on your side, so don't rush. Take your time, time fly's.

Playing Hard To Get

A young frat of mine, whom I had 1 wonderful, yet, intellectual conversation with, felt the need to come out of the blue and say, "hey soror, I just wanted to let you know that, I see you as a cool person and a friend and I'm not trying to hit on you, and I just want to be clear about this". He felt this need to tell me this, although, I don't want him, at all and I know I didn't give off any romantic fever!I wasn't even thinking about that stuff. This brings me to my next point: I love this quote Play Hard To Get "Some women think playing hard to get is a game. Really it is not. What it is, is the opposite of being easy to get?. How has being easy to get worked out for you? Hard to get is about building romantic tension. Hard to get is about being in control of your dating life. It is about controlling your romance temperament, love life and your future. Being hard to get means you will not have to ever settle for less than the happiness you want and&;deserve.;By being hard to get you will discover how the chase will be thrilling and memorable for both of you. You will have love, fun, respect and excitement. You can be hard to get and easy to be with at the same time. It's a balance. A man likes the chase. A man values most what he works the hardest for. You are the prize and a prize is not easy. Everyone knows that, what is valuable, does not come easy. Men work for the woman they view as the prize. Think of it like this. You are not Walmart merchandise, that is easy to get and usually has a low price tag. You are top shelf material and top shelf does not come easy".

Reinforcing His Behavior

Do you know that whatever type of man you deal with and or entertain, you reinforce whoever they are? I came up with this theory a while ago , which details the psychology of a man's behavior. Here's a little psychology for you: Positive Reinforcement is when a reward is presented with behavior, which increases that behavior. With any person's behavior , if the behavior is presented with a reward, the behavior is unconsciously reinforced, with or without you or the person knowing. We reinforce behavior all the time, even when we don't know it and even if It's totally accidental. If people behave a certain way , and you present yourself as a reward to that person , your presence and your acceptance of that behavior will increase that persons behavior! When dealing with men, be very careful about this. Men have personality traits, that were already in line before you came along, so be careful to entertain a man who is righteous. When you entertain a man at his best or his worst and something about him is either on point or off point, you will reinforce his behavior. Men come as they are , so rather he is Godly, unGodly, mean, nice , gay , downlow, ratchet, nasty, disrespectful, respectful, lovely, unlovely, smart, cheap, player, censored, uncensored, loyal, responsible ,bossy, etc, they secretly believe that you accept them as they are, even if they don't have good ,acceptable character. Why do you think their behavior gets worst or better? Its crazy huh, but do you know that, a man comes as, "AS IS MERCHANDISE" and they'd like to believe that you have radar. Never entertain a man with bad characteristics. Why? Because you will only increase his character. Just the other day , i was in a shop , as i noticed these two ratchet guys, who were just out of the gutter, however, i was still nice to them and even let them go ahead of me. I should have kept looking ahead, because one of the idiot guys came up to me and asked me if I were expecting? What? Nothing about me even looks pregnant. But this guy was ignorant. So you see, when you see a duck that goes quack, recognize that duck and keep it moving! Why? Because you will only reinforce their behavior and a man is a man. No matter how nice I was , he still felt impelled to ask me that offensive question, why? Because a glass is still a glass, no matter What you do! A dog is á dog , and dogs aré dirty; dogs have fleas and dogs bite. A dogs nature is his nature , and no matter how you treat him , it ain't going to change, because a man who is a dog can only be himself. Just as a good wholesome dude, who is a respectful, gentleman can only be who he is and can't change, well that also applies to a wack dude as Well. Do you ever notice when you meet a guy ,who is not really your type , who you may have a bad inkling about, and you end up entertaining him anyway, that he becomes more ratchet, disrespectful and dull by the moment? Let me tell you why, Its because you reinforced his behavior, therefore his behavior increased. The same rules apply when you meet a wholesome, respectful guy. Always reinforce good behavior.

Love U

"Ultimately, a balanced and healthy love for oneself is the foundation of all successful relationships for it is truly the greatest love of all".

Your Relatonships Reflect You

I've come to realize that, the Ghandi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in others", is more applicable in every area of life. Let's start with relationships. Be the change you wish to be in your relationships. If you feel disrespected, respect yo self! (in my singing voice). Be what you wish to see in your mate. Provide for yourself, what you lack in life, from others. Here's a quote: "Self-Love as the Foundation: The truth that your relationships mirror your inner world re-enforces the greatest relationship advice you can ever receive, that of loving yourself. In a relationship in which your partner treats you with love and support, you will find that the basis for his or her love is the love you have towards yourself and so towards others. When you trust yourself and hence others, you will attract a trustworthy partner. When you believe in yourself and hence in others, you will attract a partner that believes in you. When you are kind to yourself and hence to others, you will attract a partner that is kind to you. When you love yourself and hence others, you will attract a loving partner and so on. Ultimately, a balanced and healthy love for oneself is the foundation of all successful relationships for it is truly the greatest love of all".

I realize with men

I realize with men that, they never forget how they met you and what they had to do to get you. If he's a real man, he won't mind the fuss you put up, nor how hard you play to get, because he's here to play hard ball. A male, that isn't a real man will remember how he met you, your mannerisms, how hard you played to get, etc. When this male , who isn't a real man finally gets your attention and tries to conquer you, he will make you pay. Ever notice how a guy brings up how he met you over and over again, and or he may discuss how he courted you? Well , if you're dating a guy, who's out of your league, he will be sure to put you through hell. It's almost like punishment. Men will sometimes punish you, for being that great! Good guys don't mind, and they don't bite. Oh but real men impersonator's do. Always stick with the good guy , with good first impression rapport.

Different Types of Men

The Gentleman: He loves women. He was either raised right, has a good relationship with his mother, had an admirable dad, who taught him how to be a man and or he has a good head on his shoulder. He usually comes from a good family background. He's wholesome, all the way. He might even be a man of God. He opens doors, orders for you, keeps his promises, treats you with respect and adores you. He's reliable, worthy, upfront, communicative and has integrity. He likes to do for women. He treats all women great. The Lover: He loves women! He will uplift you and make you feel like a queen. This guy is a winner and needs to be a role model for all men. The Relationship Guy : This guys goes from relationship to relationship. One chic after the next. He is in love with the idea of love. This guy doesn't value the actual woman. What he values is, the idea of not being alone. The Player: This guy likes women, like a man likes money. He commits to no one. He treats women like pieces of meat. The Control Freak: This guy wants to know all areas of your life, what you're doing, who you're doing it with, and how you're gonna do it.. The Ambiguous Guy: This guy leaves you guessing. You never know how he feels. You don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. You never know if he likes you or not. You don't even know if he's straight or gay. This guy will never make you feel desirable, in fact, he's the, he loves me , he loves me not kind of guy. He is a non verbal communicator, that sends two sided messages. Eff him. The Womanizer This guy loves to toy with a woman's emotions. It's like dangling a carrot before her. He just wants to be desired and wanted. He loves to exploit women and play with their emotions,just to see how many women can fall for him, but it will always be at your expense. He doesn't care about you and has no heart. He just likes to play the game, just to see how many women he can attract. It's all about his ego being stroked. This is an insecure man. The Married Type This guy has been married more than once, more than twice and in some cases, more than three times. He marries women,as if he's jumping into a relationship. For him, marriage means nothing more than a girlfriend on liability. Marriage assures him that,she ain't going nowhere and will be there when he returns at night. Marriage is more of an insurance plan. The Non Committal Man: This guy will make you feel like he will wife you, but its his charm that throws you off. He will never commit to you, but will leave you with the suspense that he will. This man = Broken promises, which = broken hearts. The Narcissist Delusions of grandeur define this guy. Grandiosity with a capitol G. He is self centered, all about him and self absorbed. He's a taker not a giver. He believes he is God's gift to women. He isn't a Godly man. He does not worship nor praise God. In fact, he's so disrespectful,he has a God complex. He believes that he is the prize and the ultimate guide to happiness for a woman. He believes that he is her provider and the day he entered her life, he brought joy and his commitment to her made her the happiest woman alive. He believes his presence is enough. He pretty much believes that he's the shit, although, he ain't shit. The Unsure He may love you Monday and Hate you Tuesday. He's never consistent with whatever he promises. What he says is what he believes for that moment. He is confused about what he wants, and he is confused about you. The Attention Seeker: This guy craves attention and yearns for it. He will exploit you at your expense, just to get the attention his narcissistic supply oh so needs. He may be a narcissist, misogynist, an ego maniac, or an insecure freak. Call it what you want, he just needs a fan club.

Nanny Services

Hey Ladies, I know this might be off topic, but I have to Inform you of this great and new service. Emergency Nanny: A distinctive and new 24hr nanny service If you or anyone else is interested in becoming a nanny, join Emergency Nanny for free. Create a profile and start earning money today. You must be available and on call for whatever days and times you put on your application. Families and Single parents,are you looking for a good nanny that, has already been interviewed, screened and verified before you even meet them? Emergency Nanny is for you. Enjoy Emergency Nannies most competitive rates. Simply sign up for free today and start accessing nanny profiles. Nannies and Families Sign up here: http://www.emergencynanny.org Like Emergency Nanny facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/jackinthebox#!/pages/Emergency-Nanny/469065099776878?notif_t=page_new_likes

Blogger

Men Love Bitches

Why Men Love Bitches? Women spend so much time trying to appease a man. We cater, we give in and we compromise, but why? Men love Bitches. Women spend so much time internalizing anything that makes her feel bad. For example,we allow societal standards, magazines, TV, and a man's standards to stand in the way of self acceptance and self love. While men come "as is" merchandise, women constantly look to alter themselves at their own expense. Men sale what they have, no matter who and what they are. They have an attitude that says, "hey, this is me, flaws and all". Women, no matter who you are, be confident in your position. Ever watch Basketball Wives? Evelyn on the show is very angry, ratchet, and temperamental, yet people accept her as she is and why? People accept her because she comes "as is". She is confident in every flaw and every good trait that she has. Be yourself, have some self respect and only then, will giving a man the middle finger, when he deserves it, will be such a relief! Every woman must have that walk away factor in relationships. Accept yourself and for any man who doesn't accept you, kick him to the curb. Secondly, no man wants a woman that he can just have. I mean , anything he didn't have to lift a finger for to have, he will devalue. Men would like to believe that they have a woman that is not easily obtainable.Why? because then he knows he has a woman that wanted him, and not just a woman who's in love with the idea of love. = Men love Bitches. Thirdly, men need to be checked. Men need rules and men need to know when they are out of line. No matter how big, no matter how small the matter is, men need to be called out on their shit. They respect women who do so, why you ask? because men love bitches. A man knows when he is out of line, and if you don't call him out on it or at least alter your behavior to reflect the deed, he loses respect. Finally, men complain , but the women they rant about the most, are the bitches they claim to hate. The bitches that drive them crazy, so to say. The women who give them a run for their money are the women they secretly love. Stand your ground, be yourself, love yourself, and speak your mind. If he can't handle it, laugh and tell him, next stop please. "In order to win in relationships and be happy , you have to be with the right guy. Until you meet the right guy, all relationships will end mad, sad or bad" For more information on men who love bitches, pick up the book. "Why Men Love Bitches"

Men of thed Zodiac

Capricorn Man: He's quiet, and loud, self controlled, conflicted, narcissistic, serious, focused, patient, determined, ambitious, a cheater and a good lover. Capricorn men weigh all their options before getting into a relationship. He won't be caught dead with the wrong woman. Love for him starts with his brain. It has to make sense for him logically, before it can make any type of sense to him emotionally. He will never be guarded by his heart. His head makes the decisions for his love life. Capricorn men have to be the smartest of everyone around him and he secretly believes that he is. He has to prove how much he knows, and how strong he is at the expense of others. Oh, his intellectual conversation can be so condescending,because he talks to you like he's teaching and he thinks he knows everything, but he really knows little to nothing. Even if Mr Capricorn is extremely smart, he believes he knows all, which makes him appear less intelligent to me, anyway. The key to intelligence and gaining knowledge is, openness, receptiveness and curiosity. He's a good guy but seems to have trouble with delusions of intellectual superiority. He just wants to prove he's better and smarter than everyone else, but secretly, he must be feeling defeated and depleted, to be that way! Aquarius Man : Be careful. He's aloof, loves a chase, needs to be ignored, can be a heart breaker, wears his heart on his sleeve, short lived love, sales a fantasy. He's so charasmatic and fairy that, he can knock your socks off. Don't trust this man. He has the gift of gab and he's not afraid to use it. He can also be a player (lots of women). He's romantic, when he does fall for a woman and depending on the nature of this man, he does have the capacity to be a good loyal man. When it's real, expect loyalty. Pisces Man : He can be so sweet, but he does have a jealous nature. He's intimidated by confident women. He can be very insecure and he can also be conceited and have a narcissistic ego, that's untouchable. He has emotions like a woman. He's just as gossipy, catty, and petty as a woman. He's extremely sensitive, and like a woman, if he takes something personal, he will ignore you, refusing to speak to you. He has the capacity to make anyone fall in love with him. He's a dreamer and can be a cheater. He can be kind, but he also has a mean streak. He is passive and not an aggressive man. He want's what he cannot have (Period). Aries Man : OMG, Run for the hills! This guy perceives everything as a war or a fight. He's ready to go to bat over something as small as a sandwich or a simple comment. He's impulsive, competitive, aggressive and hyperactive. This guy needs to take a chill pill/impulsive depressor pill and sit his ass down. Aries control the head, which means he can be either, very spiritual, very smart, and or very hard headed. Aries men are very smart! Unfortunately, this guy is a relationship type guy, and may be subjected to being a loyal person, lol. Taurus Man : Taurus men are masculine, butch, with strong statures and strong necks, yummmm. They are not passive and not afraid of a challenge, nor are they afraid of a strong woman. Taurus people, in general, can be bullies. They like to run shit and they have to be in control. They will use their big statures and bullish nature to control you and the things around them, at any sound off. Taurus men are loyal, to a fault. A Taurus man will go into a relationship, with ulterior motives and stay in a relationship, long after it has ended, due to comfort. If he knows you will be successful in your near future, he ain't going nowhere. Taurus men are loyal and bull headed. They will stay in abusive relationships and friendships, even if they are the contributing factors, due to their devotion. But be careful ladies, all Taurus's have a mean streak. They can be very stuck in their ways, so depending on what type of person he is, will determine what area he is stubborn in. If he is religious , philosophical, cultural, spiritual or insightful, he will be stubborn in those areas. If he is ignorant, bull headed, stubborn, a player , etc , he will be bull headed in those areas as well. I always say, determining his nature, will determine on which level he will be bullheaded in. If his nature is decent, date him, because he is stern , loyal, and still within his nature, so you mine as well date a good, stubborn person, lol. All Taurus's can be antagonistic and abusive, due to their insecurities and or superiority complexes. Choose a guy Taurus guy without those traits. Gemini Man : Stay clear and buckle your seat belt, because this guy is fun, fun, fun and he can also be a train wreck! He's all over the place. He can be a cheater and usually has more than one woman on the side!! Never expect loyalty from this man, unless he is religious and or unless he has strong moral ethics, that have been taught to him from childhood. Either way it goes, he battles with loyalty , because it is not in his nature. If he has an ego and no ethical guideline, watch out! He is very competitive in life and in conversations and is easily angered when he loses. His mood changes from one extreme to the next and you have to pretty much kiss his butt, in order to keep things kosher between you two. A Gemini man hates when he cannot have a woman the way he wants her. Gemini's can be SENSITIVE, like a woman!! He has emotions and sensitivity like a girl. He can also be very manipulative. He is very self centered, believing the world revolves around him. Gemini's are chameleon's. They have different sides to them, that can drive you crazy! You never know what you're going to get with Mr. Gemini. Gemini men are adventurous and spontaneous. If you are fixed, laid back and bland, this guy isn't for you. He can drive you crazy, so run for the hills, unless you're the kind of woman who likes drama, and you can't get anyone else. He is definitely a no go. He's not relationship material and not worth dating. This guy's a disaster. Cancer Man : He's as cute as a button. He is husky and has broad features and he can be kind. He can be strong, and very snappy! He can also be moody. I was told by a female cancer that, cancer men can be assholes. He is totally capable of turning his emotions off and being the an insensitive guy. You be the judge! He is a relationship kind of guy, with sensitivity. He's not the most interesting person. Unfortunately, I don't know much about this guy, lol. Leo Man : Run! He's a liar. He's cunning, phony,tyrannical, crazy, manipulative and simply a headache. You never know when he is being genuine or not. For more information, read my previous post on Leo men. Virgo Man : He is half woman, half man. He is sensitive, talkative and thoughtful,just like a woman. He is extremely critical, scrutinizes and focused on small details, that don't always matter. He has identity issues,and is totally capable of metamorphosis. He can change from one identity to the next. For example, he may change from being a religious guy , into being a bad ass drug dealer, and this can happen at any given moment. However, don't worry ladies, no matter what he changes into over time, he won't dare take that risk, while he's in a relationship. He is a lifetime partner. If he's single and ready to mingle, watch out! He's very eccentric. He is analytical and he has no problem prying and being invasive. He can hit the switches at any time, you just never know with him. These above reasons are the reason I can't date another Virgo. I can't stand a critical man. Virgo men are very critical, no matter what tactic he uses, he is critical. He may deliver his messages as if something is wrong, but he's really just condemning people. On the other hand , he is a relationship guy, marriage material, weighing, logical,kind, romantic, loving,and a reliable guy. The good traits about a Virgo man are the traits I can fall for. You decide if this is the half man, half woman you want to be with. To each its own. With this guy, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. I personally like August Virgos better. Can't lose with them. Libra Man : Libra men are sweet, romantic, and they have lots of money to spend, to wine and dine you with. This man loves money, so bets believe, he will have plenty of it. He's not afraid to use it and he knows exactly how to keep a woman's mouth shut. He can definitely fund your lifestyle. However, Libra men are cheaters! They usually have more than one woman. They are also a bit confrontational. They love to argue , as if they're lawyers. In fact, many Libras are debaters, and lawyers. They take everything seriously and literally. Scorpio Man : OH wee, same sign as me :)! this man is a catch. He either loves you and wants to pursue you and or he just is not that into you. There is no in between, nor mix messages with a Scorpio man. He's passionate, powerful, convinced, loyal,sexy , smart and manly. He knows he's something to be in awww with. He's magnificent. He's so in love with himself. He loves to take charge. Just think of Scorpio man and power house, Sean 'Diddy' Combs. He can also be a little temperamental, so don't get on his bad side. Scorpio men are loved, because women just love them and are drawn to their magnetic, hypnotizing personality. It's hard to explain this man. What I love about Scorpio men is, they don't bait you, nor trick you into a trap, most women choose to be lured into their web. He plays no head games, nor luring games. He's so damn appealing, women are naturally drawn to him, like a bee is to honey. Sagittarius : Sagittarius men are very appealing and luring. You are drawn to them, without knowing why. They have a cupid spear that will have you head over hills, without knowing why. He is hard to get over. It's almost like he puts a spell on you and you are entrapped, unwillingly. Sagittarius men send mix messages. They want you, when they can't have you and they want you, when you have your own life, yet they don't want you when they can have you. He likes the chase, more than the capture. To him, the chase is more important than the capture. He's so twisted. Even in relationships and marriages, he has to always be pursuing you. He needs a challenge. He also needs a woman with spunk. Just look at Jay Z and Beyonce. Beyonce has her own life and that gives Jay Z a thrill or shall I say, chills, lol. You must have your own life, with this man. If you are not spunky and or kinky, he will loose interest. Sagittarius men don't realize what they had, until it is long gone. He is not marriage material,nor relationship material. He loves women, all types. He is considered to be the Don Juan of the zodiac. He can damn there get any woman he wants. He is an over thinker and he is extremely controlling. Sagittarius people are respected because they are who they are, without giving a flying f*** what anyone thinks about it. He only looks out for his own best interest. He is the epitome of cunning- charm. He can make anyone think that, he's innocent. He knows how to play the game to get what he wants, so don't be surprised if after he gets what he wants, he changes, and his true character shows. He believes he's running things, even when he runs nothing. He has to feel in control at all times. Sagittarius are usually attracted to cults and like to lead things. Every now and again, you will see this man as a loyal boyfriend, husband and or father. Usually, these are the men that are being checked by their woman and know to never step out of line and or they are the types that aren't really that attractive enough to play the game. lol :)

Men Will Always Choose The Woman They Couldn't Have

Hello Ladies, Men will always choose what they can't have over what they can have. I recently read an article about Kanye West pursuing Kim Kardashin, but why? Is it her riches? Is it her fame? Hell no, he has all that. It's the fact that she's the hot girl/pass down, trophy woman, that many celeb guys just want to see if they can obtain. According to magazines, Kanye wanted her long before now, but couldn't have her and now he has his chance at love. This may be a horrible example, because their new relationship all seems fake and full of b.s. to me, however, I'm making a point (wait for it). No matter how trashy Kim Kardashin's and her reputation may be. No matter if she is a loose candid, if a man cannot have you, he will see you as gold. You could be a nun, muslim, stripper and or unattractive, but if he can't have you, he prizes you above your value. If you already have value, he will value you even more. If you have little to no value, he will give you an unbelievable amount of it. No matter who you are, if a man wants something he can't have , he will cherish it over a woman who may be of a better creed, whom he can have. Wait, let's retrack that. Yes, a man will devalue a worthy woman, over a woman with less value, if the woman with less value is a woman , who he can't have and especially if she plays hard to get. Why you ask? Because it is psychological. It's a scarcity factor. People tend to value what is scarce and rare. We put what we can't have on a pedistol. You can be wifey, the better woman, and a catch, all you want, but if you are easy to catch and too good for him, he will value the woman he can't have over you. Simple, "men want what they can't have". It does no matter if he is cute as a button and you can't get enough of him, rock on baby, because in every culture, race, age group, background, social economic status, religion and political background, the same rules apply. Men value the woman they had to wait for, even if she was a friend at first. No matter how nice a guy is, you have to do what is best for him, and that's for him to value you! :) Give him the chase his true masculine hunting, nature needs. It's best for him. I know a cute guy, who's use to women wanting him and he has it going on, and for one second, I thought of reaching out to him, but that would only do him no good. I will not touch a dial, until he does. I am GOLDEN and the only way he'll see it is, if _______ Boom! When he contacts me, I may just contact him back. ha ha How do you become the woman he yearns for, even if he can have you? Learn how to balance the two. Become the woman who he can't have, unless he works extremely hard to get. Be the woman he can't have nor obtain, until he puts some elbow greese in. In fact, learn how to dislike a guy who dislikes you. If he doesn't want you, then you don't want him. Pretend as if he's totally not interested, until his interest is undeniable. Don't let him in your emotional , mental, nor physical space too soon. Keep things rather shallow, until things progress. Even if you like a guy and you give in, just a little, if you keep things shallow, it sends a message that he hasn't earned the rights into your personal space, as of yet and he shouldn't. Trust me, it's for his own good, so don't feel bad. If you do not follow this script, you will only hurt yourself. Let him complain, because in the end, he values what he can't have, not what he can have so easily.

Remember One Thing

When it comes to men, all you need to do is, remember one thing! Does he make you feel good or bad? How does he make you feel? Forget the shananagins and the he say she say. Forget what he says and forget all the books. Consult two things and keep your mind focused on the most important key factor. The fist thing to remember is, your self esteem. Always feel good about yourself. The second most important key factor is, to remember one thing, does he make you feel good? Does it feel good? If he doesn't make you feel good, if he puts you down, downgrades you or demeans you, f*** him! Always ask yourself and take note on how the man in your life is making you feel. Do an analysis everyday, if you have to. If it doesn't feel good, it isn't right, period! People are supposed to bring out the best in you, not the worst. Even if you aren't the most confident person in the world, who cares, the man in your life should be bringing some sort of Diva out of you, or Queen Elizebeth attitude out of you that makes you feel on top of the world. IF you aren't confident, he should be so into you, so willing to please you and make you happy that, it just blows your head up and makes you re evaluate your own negative self perception. Ever met a man that made you feel so on top that, you forgot how to hate your self. I mean, this man was such a compliment to your character that, you couldn't help but love yourself. Thats the feeling i'm talking about ladies, a man that brings out the best in you. If you are like me, and you do know the truth about your self and you have high esteem, then just listen for one thing, how he makes you feel. Ever been around a man who totally shited on your esteem. I mean, he beat up on your character and undermined your greatness and maybe even downplayed your essence. Well, in the words of an author, "if you're not feeling cherished, you need to raise your standards". Men who make you feel bad, should be dumped right in the space that they abused you in. Leave the energy where ever it started. Your feelings are your guide. If you feel jealous, insecure, unsure, bad, unappreciated, or angry, let that be your guide. What's the use of a man being in your life, if he isn't going to enhance it? That's the whole point of being in touch with how he makes you feel. Chances are, if he makes you feel badly, then he needs to go, and if he makes you feel good , well, he can stay a while. Be no non sense when it comes to men. If in the beginning he does or says one thing that makes you feel bad, kick him to the curb. If you were a corporation, he would be on his best behavior during his 90 day probational period and if he loved and appreciated his job, he would do whatever it took to keep the job! The key thing is, if he is not making you feel good, its because he's either smelling himself, not that into you, or doesn't cherish you enough to feel like he needs to try and impress you. Ever met a prick who was on his best behavior around his woman? Ever met a prick who humilated and spoke badly to his girlfriend? Now you get my drift. All you need to know is, does he make you feel good or bad, and how does being around him feel. All the other stuff doesn't matter. Let that be your guide to remember. Does he make you feel good or bad?

New Year Man's Eve

2012


This New Years, ladies let's know the truth and start it off right!


No more games , no more lies, and no more fake stuff. Be happy to be alive and invest in yourself.



Never believe in your heart everything a man tells you, believe what GOD tells you. Believe who God uses as a vessel. The flesh is thirsty and is always in need of something. Man lies, GOD cannot tell a lie. Man is of flesh, GOD is of spirit. As my pastor said yesterday, seek advice from Godly men and Godly women.

I have been hearing a lot of garbage about brothas requesting for Black women and or women in general to become more sexually flexible and promiscuous and as a result, that will help them keep a man. Now women, hear me when i say this. At no point ever, will sex get nor keep a man. Never, ever!! Men stay for more reasons beyond sex. Save your virtuosity and never give that up to the average Jone. Be the most flexible with your husband and the man you love. Do not be nasty and flexible with just any ol man. That will never get nor keep him. It will only categorize you as a nasty piece of meet that he will never respect nor remember and discard afterwards. Men speak about sex a lot, but that's only because they're more physical. They don't know what they really want, and its your job to show them. Men only remember and honor the women who don't give it up. Remember that! Don't be a man's toy. Remember the previous blog about oxytocins and soul ties. Not to mention HIV. A man has nothing to risk when he sexes, aside from HIV and diseases. A woman risks herself for Diseases, HIV, oxytocins, and soul ties. A man has nothing to lose, so let the man who risks nothing talk you into doing something, if you want to. It will only leave you empty in the end.

Brothas may rub their encounters , with the other races of women, who allow that type of trashy, permiscuious behavior,to Black women. Guess what, nothing is better than soul. Nothing is better than a Queen or King so pleaseeeee. If you don't think so, you have serious issues of self hatred. Brothas have so much self hatred, they don't even understand how to have self love, nor have cultural love first. You don't ever speak of another to a sistah. That's just plain mean and its gloating. It's like kicking someone when their down. It shows anger issues. No one is going to get tricked into a trap of fulfilling your most nasty sexual fantasies, without your earning it. Other men of other cultures never, ever disrespect their women and or express their desires for another to the women in their culture. That's called having no respect for your culture. Brothas have been tricked into believing that its okay to down grade their people , their women and culture. You can love everyone, but you must first love yourself, point blank, period. Respect your women and stop hating us because you have issues, insecurities and emasculation complexes. Get your shit together. Is it pro hispanic, when a hispanic person speaks highly of their own kind? No. Is it pro White, when a White person speaks highly of its own kind? No. Is it pro Asian, when Asians speak highly of their own kind?No. but when a Black person speaks highly of their own kind, its pro Black? smh

Be virtuous ladies and save yourself for your husband, that is GOD's word and GOD's intentions. God will never approve of casual sex. Never take advice from a worldly, unGodly man. Why? because those aren't the women they respect nor marry, no matter what they say. Be sexually open and flexible with your husband. Let the man with nothing have blue balls. You are not his trash.

Happy 2012